Valentine's Day dilemma: is sharing your password a sign of trust or control?
As Valentine's Day approaches, many couples find themselves pondering the perfect gift that expresses their affection.
In our increasingly digital world, the idea of sharing passwords and other private data may appear as a gesture of trust and intimacy.
However, experts from Kaspersky warn that this seemingly innocent act could expose vulnerabilities in a relationship, blurring the lines between love and control.
In a time where technology plays an integral role in how couples connect, nearly half of the respondents (47%) in Kaspersky's annual State of Stalkerware report confessed their discomfort over their partners potentially violating their digital privacy.
This statistic serves as a grim reminder that while love often inspires trust, it can also become a pathway to invasive control.
Trust vs control
The complexities of modern relationships are magnified by technological tools that facilitate communication and connection.
Unfortunately, these same tools can be exploited. Kaspersky's research found that 23% of participants reported being victims of online stalking by a former partner.
Online tracking can often be mistaken for affection, however, experts say that such behaviours are tell-tale signs of control rather than care.
According to Kaspersky, the decision to share passwords should stem from trust, not coercion. Despite 51% of respondents being open to sharing access to their phones, a notable 18% expressed a firm desire to maintain their privacy.
Control tactics such as, “If you have nothing to hide, why not share your password?”, can often refer more to the manipulative nature of the asking partner rather than a genuine desire for connection.
Location sharing: a double-edged sword
Another area where love meets potential danger is location sharing.
While it can be convenient and beneficial for safety, Kaspersky warns that obsessive tracking without consent can lead to distressing situations.
Ten percent of survey participants reported being tracked without their knowledge.
Disturbingly, questions about sudden location changes from a partner can signify unhealthy possessiveness, an ominous red flag in any relationship.
The darker side of digital communication
Digital communication should serve to strengthen connections, yet it can become a sinister tool for manipulation.
Kaspersky found that 39% of individuals experienced violence or abuse through digital platforms, including the manipulation of messages or photos to distort reality and undermine a person’s self-confidence.
Such tactics reveal how technology can foster toxic dynamics rather than positive communication.
Reconciling love and digital security
In a healthy relationship, partners encourage good security practices, like updating passwords and enabling two-factor authentication.
On the contrary, a controlling partner may exploit this trust to invade personal spaces, as evidenced by the 12% of respondents who felt pressured to install monitoring apps on their significant other's devices.
This brings to light how technology, while intended to facilitate connection, can be warped into a weapon of control and manipulation in toxic relationships.
Anna Larkina, a privacy expert at Kaspersk, encapsulates the message of this year’s Valentine’s Day insights: “This Valentine’s Day, we want to encourage couples to set healthy digital boundaries, ensuring that technology strengthens relationships rather than becoming a tool for manipulation.”
She adds: “A loving partner will always respect your privacy without demanding passwords, encourage security without exploiting it and support your online presence without controlling it.
“If love requires surrendering digital freedom, it’s not love, it’s stalking.”