Mental and physical benefits of abstaining from sex
September is Sexual Health Awareness Month, shining a spotlight on the importance of open conversations about sexual health, particularly with healthcare providers.
The Gauteng Department of Health (GDoH) released alarming statistics earlier this year, revealing a concerning trend in sexually transmitted infections (STIs) across the province.
Between April and December 2023, public health facilities in Gauteng saw 167,109 male patients, with a staggering 40% (67,400) treated for Male Urethritis Syndrome (MUS).
This condition, characterised by penile discharge and painful urination, primarily stems from gonorrhoea and chlamydia infections.
The GDoH reported that MUS incidence in the province rose from 12% in 2020 to 15% in 2023. Certain areas showed particularly high rates, including parts of Johannesburg, West Rand, Ekurhuleni South, Sedibeng, and Tshwane.
In response, the GDoH implemented various preventive measures. These included promoting consistent condom use, encouraging HIV testing and STI screening and advocating for sexual well-being.
MEC for Health and Wellness, Nomantu Nkomo-Ralehoko, urged sexually active individuals to take advantage of free condoms available at local healthcare centres to protect against STIs and HIV.
Amid these concerns, some experts suggested that a break from sexual activity could offer both physical and mental health benefits.
Kelley Nele, a relationship and sex educator with a background in psychology and sexology, shared her insights with Independent Media Lifestyle.
Nele explained that a sexual hiatus could provide much-needed perspective and help individuals process issues they may have previously used sex to cope with.
“In some cases, sex may cause people more distress, take hook-up culture for example,” she said. “The psychological benefits of taking a hiatus would therefore be less distress, such as anxiety and depression, and improved mental health.”
According to Nele, eliminating sex as a coping mechanism could force individuals to confront their issues differently, potentially leading to personal growth. She suggested using this time for self-reflection or seeking therapy to reassess one’s relationship with sex.
Nele also pointed out that casual sex, especially with partners who don’t prioritise one’s well-being, could trigger anxiety and abandonment issues.
“Not engaging in sex can eliminate the trigger, which will in turn create peace,” she said.
Nele shared her thoughts on the effects of taking a break from sexual activity in a relationship. She explained that such a hiatus can lead to either deeper intimacy or the end of the relationship.
When couples decide to pause their sexual interactions, they are encouraged to explore other forms of intimacy, which can strengthen their bond if approached thoughtfully.
Nele addressed a common question regarding the necessity of sex during times of illness. While some situations may require a partner to refrain from sex for health reasons, she noted that this may not always benefit both partners.
Many times, maintaining a sexual connection is beneficial, but certain illnesses and medications can lower libido, making sex difficult.
She also highlighted an important point: “Sex begets sex”. Taking a long break can diminish a person's desire for sexual activity.
This is concerning because sex has numerous health benefits, and a prolonged hiatus can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical issues like vaginal atrophy and a weakened immune system.
Cultural influences, such as religion and the rise and fall of hook-up culture, play a significant role in people's attitudes toward sex.
Nele pointed out that while hook-up culture was once popular, the current trend leans towards celibacy. She encouraged anyone considering a hiatus to follow their instincts, regardless of societal pressures.
It’s also a common misconception that those who choose to abstain from sex are doing so due to emotional fragility or religious beliefs. Nele reminded readers that for some, a fulfilling life may mean stepping away from sexual activity altogether.
When contemplating a sexual break, Nele advised individuals to clarify their reasons. Questions to consider include: Why are you taking a break? What do you hope to achieve?
If you have a partner, what are the agreed terms? How long will the break last, and what boundaries will you set? Importantly, Nele stressed that there is no right or wrong way to approach a hiatus; it should be a personal decision that suits each individual’s needs.
She noted that individuals should understand their reasons for this pause and communicate them openly with their partners.
During such conversations, it’s crucial to consider various factors, such as how long the break will last and what boundaries each person needs.
Nele pointed out that while one partner may feel the need for a break, the other has the right to decide if they want to continue the relationship under those terms.
Nele also shared that the approach to resuming sexual activity after a hiatus should be tailored to the underlying reasons for the break.
For example, someone recovering from sex addiction may have a different path than someone who realised that casual dating wasn’t fulfilling.
For those who have also abstained from masturbation, Nele suggested starting with solo play, especially for individuals with vulvas. This can help reconnect with one’s own body and desires.
Finally, she encouraged people to reflect on the types of sexual experiences they want moving forward.
“Choose partners who align with your desired experiences and respect your new boundaries,” Nele advised.
By taking these steps, individuals can navigate their sexual journeys more thoughtfully and healthily.