Donner the fear of God into them: Society must drill ethics into laaities
Apparently the answer to all our problems at schools lies somewhere between corporal punishment and prayer.
The article I wrote last week about playground violence was viewed close to 40 000 times and elicited more than 200 comments on our Facebook page, meaning it hit close to home and touched many nerves.
I wrote about stabbings at Cedar High School in Mitchells Plain, the murder of 16-year-old Deveney Nel at the Overberg High School in Caledon and the brutal girl-on-girl beating outside Alexander Sinton High in Athlone.
I wrote about the blind rage that our kids are displaying these days and suggested that conflict resolution be taught as a subject, so we don’t send such angry adults out into the world.
My words clearly resonated with many of you, almost all expressing similar concerns and making your own suggestions for how to address the ever-increasing problem.
Bernice Witbooi writes: “Thank you (Daily) Voice for this article. We need to teach anger management at our schools. I'm sure there are retired teachers, and even nurses and police officers who will volunteer their services to these schools. It stems from the home, or should I say community. I saw children in creche. Yoh, the anger that flared up because another 4-year-old trapped on his shoe. Gosh!”
Witnessing preschoolers resort to violence is a clear indication that we have a very big problem on our hands.
Children tend to copy and act out what they are exposed to on a regular basis.
So clearly parents are unable to resolve their own conflict in a mature and peaceful manner at home, or life has just become so stressful that tempers are easily triggered.
The problem is, if that’s the only conflict method the kid witnesses, then they will assume that it’s the only way to deal with it.
Shawaal Abrahams took my own suggestion one step further, writing: “I personally feel we need to implement subjects such as ethics, morals, values and discipline, and it should be compulsory for all learners, and they must pass it. Because with so many single parents (working so hard just to provide for their children) and child-headed households, our kids on the Cape Flats have very few good role models, and often believe their behaviour is acceptable.”
While a few people said it’s not the job of teachers and schools to teach our kids a decent value-system, the problem is, if it’s not being taught at home or anywhere else, then where are they supposed to learn it?
And since it’s at school where they spend most of their time and most likely to act out, maybe it should be the school’s job.
If everyone shifts the responsibility, the problem will simply persist and get worse.
Shahied Majiet implies that maybe some parents don’t even have the skill, capacity or willingness to do what is required.
He writes: “Many of them did not grow up in an environment that would teach them the different types of emotions and how to deal with them. We need to look at how much time parents spend communicating with their kids and how many were mature enough for parenthood at the time when the children were born.”
Considering how teenage pregnancy is still an issue in our communities, I would say Shahied makes a very valid point.
We expect a child who happens to also be a parent, to instinctively know how to be good at it.
Let’s set aside the obvious arguments about having to lie in the bed they made etc.
Their natural ignorance and lack of parenting skills can end up affecting our kids on the playground.
So instead of judging them for their “mistake” in falling pregnant, maybe we should be looking at ways to support them, for the benefit of society as a whole.
There was a short, but interesting take on the conversation from Rodney Maggott, who wrote: “Children need discipline, but then again look at how the government acts. So kids follow their example.”
This comment could easily be misconstrued for shifting blame. But I do believe that it is incumbent on all leaders - top to bottom - to set good examples.
The same argument applies to corruption. If it is being perpetrated at the top, then it sets the tone and creates a sense of entitlement in those below to do the same.
So yes, I do believe that leaders at all levels have a responsibility to live according to humanity’s highest values.
If you combine that with a home that is also structured according to a value-system and re-enforced by school subjects, kids will naturally mimic what they are exposed to.
The alternative is a disastrous future that some teachers already fear, as many are quitting the profession, or emigrating to go teach abroad.
The prospect is best summed up by Nikki Heilbron, who wrote: “Eventually we will have a lack of educators in this country due to all the ill-discipline. And then what?”
dailyvoice@inl.co.za