No-gos during sex: Avoid these 5 passion killers in the bedroom
I recently came across a text on a blog entitled “No-Gos in the Bedroom”. “Could be exciting,” I thought to myself and read it. But the reading left me unsatisfied – nothing but platitudes, a complete clickbait fail – and I fell for it. I decided: “Then I’ll just do it myself!” And here we are. She and I. Let's talk about real no-nos that you shouldn't do inside your love cave if you want to get the shot.
Oh yes: This text refers to the love life of couples. I believe that there are far more pitfalls lurking in this case than is the case with singles. And: All of the following points are brought to me again and again by frustrated, partnered people. This is far from representative, but authentic and therefore perhaps all the more interesting.
No-gos in sex: The 5 biggest turn-offs in bed
No-Go 1: Uncool vibe
I know that the bedroom tends to degenerate into a junk room, especially in cramped living conditions. Ironing boards, clothes racks, suitcases and the children's old baby bed - we store things in the bedroom that don't fit in the storage room or basement. No wonder, as this is where we are most private and (usually) safe from prying eyes from our mother-in-law. It's just stupid: clutter is not only unaesthetic, it also kills any erotic vibe.
If you want more or better moments with your loved one, be sure to tidy up. Reclaim your master bedroom and make yourself comfortable - with fresh, white bed linen, a cleared out wardrobe, washed curtains, plants for a better room climate, scented candles. It's much nicer to make love in such a tidy atmosphere than in a cluttered bunk.
No-Go 2: Too much familiarity
Too much familiarity – is there such a thing? But hello. Couples who have been together for a long time especially tend to let each other get ahead of each other. You show up in your ugly (but comfiest) vintage jogger, wear an eye mask, pimple patches and Hello Kitty snooze socks to go to bed, unabashedly flatulize because the food at your favorite Thai restaurant was so spicy again and then wonder why that things are no longer going as smoothly sexually as they did in the beginning.
Believe me – been there, done that . This is exactly why I know how important a touch of mystery is, especially for long-term relationships. Don't let yourself go. Stay attractive to your partner. Yes, that means that you not only go to bed in a ripped band shirt and baggy sleep shorts, but also wear those tight boxers that your wife finds so hot. Or even better: take a shower before bed and lie naked next to your partner. Hot. Also: no toothpaste on your face, no burping and no loud peeing noises because you left the door open again. Oh yes: You can also leave the television off occasionally and switch your cell phone to flight mode. All of this shows your partner that you care about her. A mega turn-on for many women.
No-Go 3: Sex according to schedule
Are you usually too exhausted during the week to do it after work? Does this mean that your shepherding sessions in partnership usually take place on the weekend, preferably on Sunday morning right after you wake up? This can be a nice tradition, but it can also turn into a nervous event. Because all spontaneity is lost. But eroticism is largely fueled by the magic of the moment, if you'll forgive the Cora-Roman-esque language. In other words: sexual intercourse is possible at any time if both feel like it. But without tingling, without desire, it will remain a technically correct act. Will this satisfy you or your loved one in the long term or even make you happy? Absolutely no way.
So bring variety into your sex life. Whether in the evening or in the morning before work, whether on weekdays or at the weekend, whether quickie or cuddly sex - everything is better than routine fumbling at set times. The situation is different if you explicitly arrange sex dates with your partner. They also take place at predetermined times, but – unlike the usual Sunday slides – offer a lot of sensual potential.
No Go 4: No foreplay
All I can say is that if your partner isn't a fan of express sex, foreplay is essential to get the woman in the mood. Just plug it in and that's it? I ask you. Imagine you picked up your wife on Tinder and are now planning on getting laid. In this case, you would make an effort - kiss her on the neck, whisper dirty things in her ear, pamper her with tongue, fingers, maybe even love toys according to every trick in the book. Why not apply all of these things to your relationship too? Sex doesn't have to be time-effective, just horny.
PS: Foreplay can begin long before actual sex. Text your wife during the day that you are interested in her. Playfully “command” her to send sexy photos, be naughty . This will almost certainly turn the woman on - and in the evening things will go wild in the bedroom at home.
No Go 5: Everything is the same
Do you know exactly which buttons you have to press so that your partner gets her money's worth? What does she like and what does she dislike? Strong. Nevertheless, I advise you: talk to each other. Also, no, especially about your sexual preferences. Because they can also change significantly over time. Just because your loved one was into facesitting and spanking at the start of your romance doesn't mean it still turns her on today. Exchange ideas and then put the new knowledge into practice.
[via GQ Germany]