Support is crucial in understanding and caring for someone with dementia.

These are basic elements family members and carers need to help their loved ones who have any of the diseases in the dementia cluster, which affect memory, thinking, and the ability to perform daily activities.

Dementia South Africa Mitchell’s Plain Support Group facilitator Christine Stone, from Lentegeur, joined the group after the national Covid-19 lockdown.

Her mother had early stage Dementia in 2014, which progressed within five-years to Alzheimer’s, a progressive disease that destroys memory and other important mental functions. Her mom died in March last year.

“It is a disease of the brain and it is like the brain is switched off. The cells die as the disease progresses.

Ms Stone said it begins with small things being forgotten and at first we used to laugh.

“It just shuts down and it blocks what it wants because of past ill health, emotional and physical trauma the person had experienced,” she said.

Ms Stone said siblings do not want to believe the things their parents or elders do and say to the children who care for them.

“You need to speak to someone you can relate to in a safe environment,” she said adding that it is hard for siblings to understand and believe the things happening to their loved ones and it is easier to speak to people that understand and are on the same journey.

More than a decade ago there was not much support or proper diagnosis, Christine said, adding that is a disease that affects younger people as well.

“All the patient needs is a person to speak, touch and care for them gently,” she said.

Cynthia Smith, 76, from Rocklands, who was diagnosed with dementia in 2022, has the support of her daughter Eileen Damons, her aunt Lena van der Merwe, their relative Kathleen Petersen, and neighbour Nora Lubbe.

Ms Damons said at first she thought her mom was playing crazy.

“It is difficult to reconcile that the woman I knew, who was precise and particular about what she wore, cared for herself and her household, was now in disarray. I could not understand this sickness, Vascular dementia, which causes memory loss in older adults, particularly in those at higher risk of stroke due to obesity or diabetes,” she said. “It was as simple as walking into a room and forgetting what you intended to do there.”

As her mother’s carers Ms Damons said she needs to think for her mother, stay calm and focussed, and reminding herself that she is doing her best.

Ms Smith cannot be left alone and when Ms Damon needs to do errands Ms Petersen, Ms Lubber and Ms Van Der Merwe help her.

“She is like a child and we need to care for her and have our wits about us because we could have fed her now and then she would say she had not eaten,” she said.

Ms Damon thanked the group for their support.

“I am now the mother and there are times when we laugh and moments we share would not have been possible if I was angry, upset or frustrated,” she said.

They attend monthly Dementia South Africa Mitchell's Plain Support Group meetings at Dagbreek Community Centre, on the corner of Dagbreek and Koornhoop roads, in Westridge.

The non-profit organisation helps people to live with or care for those with dementia. They will have an open day at Emmanuel Worship Centre, 34 Dune Drive in Woodlands, on Saturday August 3, from 10am until 1pm.

They would like to share information about the disease, which includes loss of memory, language, problem-solving and other thinking abilities that are severe enough to interfere with daily life. Meetings are for carers and survivors. For more information, call Christine Stone at 067 380 7570.

Tips for helping someone with disorientated

Ms Stone advises that when a disorientated person is found in the road that the person trying to help should approach them with calm and in stand in front of them.
People with Dementia need a soft approach.
Soft tone of voice and should be approached from the front, facing them and a very slight touch of the hands.
Reason for facing the person is that sometimes their hearing abilities goes.
Maintain eye contact.
When a person with memory loss is found: check for an identity band or tag in clothing for identification.
If there is no information, take them to nearest police station.
Information should be shared with neighbourhood watch members, taxi drivers and sliding door operators as well as community members.

#dementia-south-africa-mitchells-plain-support-group

Dementia support