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Waking up with anxiety is brutal proof that your brain knows no bounds: Even when your head is still on your pillow, and nothing has happened yet, that uneasy feeling can rush in. This contrast between your surroundings and internal state can be super disconcerting, Elisabeth Morray, PhD, a Boston-based licensed psychologist and vice president of clinical for online therapist directory Alma, tells SELF. “On the one hand, this is the time when you’re literally the safest, and on the other, you can feel very unsafe mentally.”
To be sure, not everyone who experiences anxiety will get a hit of it first thing; it’s also plenty common for it to strike at night and send you into an overthinking spiral that strips you of restful sleep. But for those who deal with the morning variety, a few particular factors are often to blame. Read on to learn why you might be waking up with anxiety already brewing and how to both squash it in the moment and keep it from coming back.
Chances are, the moment that your brain snaps into consciousness, there isn’t much else going on around you. At least compared to other points in the day (during which you might be, say, in meetings, fielding requests from friends or family, or commuting), when you’re still lying in bed, you’re less occupied, Dr. Morray says. And in the absence of all that external buzz, your internal thoughts and feelings can be a lot louder, she says: “It may be that the anxiety is always there, but you’re more aware of or attuned to it when you don’t have all the normal daytime distractions.”
It’s no secret that poor sleep can leave you grumpy and ready to flip out at even the most minor inconvenience. The reason for that: Lack of shut-eye limits your brain’s ability to control its emotion processing and regulating center, which leaves you less tolerant of stressors, Shelby Harris, PsyD, a sleep psychologist, the director of NY Sleep and Psychology, and the author of The Women’s Guide to Overcoming Insomnia, tells SELF. And that includes any flustering news, pings, or emails you might encounter first thing.
Making things worse, a night of crappy sleep can increase the amount of cortisol, a stress hormone, pumping through your blood. While cortisol levels naturally peak in the morning to help you get up and at ’em, some research suggests that missing out on sleep could make that early spike (called the cortisol awakening response) bigger than usual—leaving you primed for a more anxious start to the day, Dr. Harris says. It’s no wonder research has also found a direct link between shortened sleep and higher morning anxiety levels in people with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), a condition marked by persistent and excessive worry (at any hour).
If your day is a mountain of to-dos you have to climb, morning is basically the equivalent of standing at the base—daunting as hell. It’s easy to get caught up worrying about stressful situations that you expect will cause you discomfort later on, or tasks you’ve been avoiding, Dr. Morray explains.
Over time, if you spend enough mornings ruminating about the items on your to-do list, you’ll wind up training your brain to get anxious as soon as your eyes open, Debra Kissen, PhD, a clinical psychologist and CEO of the Light On Anxiety CBT Treatment Center in Chicago, tells SELF. So even if there’s nothing major or negative looming ahead of you on a particular day, you may still fear or dread mornings based on past experiences.
If you find yourself panicking the second you wake up, your first step is to change your physical positioning. Just getting up and moving to another room will offer your brain some fresh stimuli that can shift your mental perspective—particularly if you’ve started associating your bed with worrying, Dr. Kissen says. “The world will feel different in a different room, and when you’re standing versus lying down,” she explains.
As in any scenario when you find yourself spiraling, turning to a physical grounding technique here can be an immediate balm. Some of these soothing tactics require nothing more than your breath to bring your mind back to the present moment and reduce physical symptoms of anxiety like a speedy heart rate, shortness of breath, and clammy palms.
Start by taking a few diaphragmatic breaths (inhale deeply through your nose so that your belly—not your chest—expands). This will activate the “rest-and-digest” part of your nervous system and counter some of the frenzied “fight-or-flight” energy you’re feeling. From there, try a few rounds of box breathing to give your brain something physical to focus on: Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, and hold for another four. (If you’re looking for more breathing exercises, check out these guided videos.)
The more often you practice these exercises (ideally, not just when you’re super anxious), the more accessible they’ll be to you when you really need them, Dr. Harris says.
Once you’ve tamed the immediate panicky sensation, take a mental step back and consider what Dr. Morray says is at the core of any anxiety: something you really care about. While anxiety can feel dizzying in the moment, it’s actually normal and good to care about things in your life, she says. For instance, if you’re spinning out over a work presentation, you can take that as a sign that you highly value career wins. And if you’re stressed out over which lunch or recess period your kid gets assigned, then you probably care a whole lot about their happiness at school.
Once you recognize what’s at the root of your fear—the thing you really value—it becomes easier to figure out how to tackle it, Dr. Morray says. In the work scenario, for example, you might block off your calendar for prep time that morning or spend a few extra minutes practising in the mirror. Dr. Kissen says it’s important to identify something you can do right now or within the day ahead versus getting caught up in long-term plans (say, an outright career change). And chances are, Dr. Morray says, you’ll feel much less anxious once you identify a productive step you can take.
Sometimes there won’t actually be anything you can do about the thing that’s worrying you. As Dr. Kissen puts it, “Anxiety wants perfect certainty that everything will be okay, and you can’t give it that.” So, you may need to simply validate for yourself that this is a hard situation and that you don’t have an answer for it right now, she says.
From there, turn your focus toward an activity that’s constructive and beneficial for you in a totally unrelated way. Maybe that’s taking your dog for a walk or going on a quick run. Or perhaps it’s calling a friend to hear how they’re doing. In any case, the goal is to “find an outlet for that urge to engage with your life,” Dr. Morray says, “even if it’s in a way that may not have anything to do with what you’re anxious about.”
You know that post-coffee feeling of shaky hands and a racing heart? Those jitters can feed into anxiety or exacerbate it in some folks. After all, these symptoms are the effects of “amping up your physiological arousal,” Dr. Morray explains, which is also what anxiety does. (And you don’t want to double down on that.)
That’s not to say you can’t have your morning Joe; Dr. Morray just suggests putting it off for a little bit when you’re battling an early anxiety spell. As your mental state settles and you’re turning toward your first big tasks of the day, then you can reach for your mug.
Given that poor sleep can prime your body and mind for an off-kilter morning, you want to do everything in your power to rest easy. While there’s no silver bullet here, Dr. Harris suggests brushing up on classic sleep hygiene: Be relatively consistent with your sleep and wake times, stop drinking caffeine eight hours before bed (or more if it seems to affect you for longer) and alcohol within three to four hours, and establish a soothing pre-sleep ritual to quiet your brain.
It can really help to write down the things you need to do the next day before you go to bed, Dr. Harris says. This way, you’re not just storing all that info in your brain—and waking up the next morning fretting about whether you’ve forgotten something important.
Rather than make a traditional to-do list, though, Dr. Kissen suggests literally mapping out your schedule for each hour of the following day. This strategy, known as time-boxing (from 8am to 9am, I’ll go through my inbox; from 9am to 10am, I’ll finish that slide deck), forces you to be realistic about what you can actually accomplish. This way, you won’t wind up with a mile-long checklist that just feels totally formidable come morning.
In the vein of planning, devote some extra time in the evening to choosing a few things you want to do in the first hour of your day. The key here is to pick just a few, Dr. Morray says. Even if you can think up a zillion-step morning routine that sounds fantastic in theory, if it’s not realistic, you’ll just be disappointed when it ultimately falls through.
For example, perhaps you’d like to whip up an actual breakfast or take a shower before you get your kids ready for school; or maybe it’s some physical activity or a phone chat with a loved one that’ll start your day on a positive note. Alternatively, it could be as simple as taking five deep breaths before you do anything else, Dr. Morray says. Whatever it is, if you get clarity ahead of time around the one or two rituals you want to consistently do before diving into the workday, you’ll leave less wiggle room for uncertainty—and the feelings of anxiety that can spring from it—come morning.
…And take steps to make it as easy as possible to stick to that plan.
Even the best intentions can fly out the window if you’re waking up frantic. So do your future-self a favor by creating reminders of how you’re aiming to start your day, Dr. Morray suggests. That can be as simple as a little note by your bed (“Think of three things you’re grateful for”) or a visual cue (exercise clothes ready on your dresser). This way, she says, you’re giving yourself a better chance of beginning your day doing something you care about versus reacting to whatever bad news, strongly worded email, or nebulous sense of dread threatens you when you wake. And the more practice you get with your new morning habits, the more effortless they’ll become.
If, however, you’ve been trying out the above strategies for a couple weeks and the swirl of anxious thoughts is still clouding your mornings or impeding your ability to go about your daily life, it’s important to get in touch with your doctor or a mental health professional, Dr. Harris says. They can help identify whether GAD or another anxiety disorder might be at the root of your persistent symptoms, and if so, offer treatment, typically in the form of cognitive behavioral therapy (which involves challenging unhelpful thought patterns). In any case, with time and support, you can learn to tone down those first-thing worries and take the edge off your mornings.
Original article appeared on Self
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