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They're easier to achieve than you'd think.
Sex: it's a marathon, not a sprint. That's pretty easy to wrap our minds around that idea, but when it comes (get it?) to our genitalia, not so much. Anyone who's sexually active or masturbates knows that every orgasm is like a snowflake — each one feels a bit different. While some may feel so intensely Earth-shattering that they qualify as a seven-plus on the sexual Richter scale, others can feel short and sweet — and both are totally normal.
Chances are, somewhere in your sexual history, you may have experienced an intense orgasm that lasted longer than usual. Well, there's a name for that more drawn-out extreme feeling of sexual energy, and it's called an extended orgasm. Not to be confused with multiple orgasms during one sexual experience, this elongated feeling of climaxing qualifies as one incredibly sensual, long orgasm.
Though it may sound intimidating, having an extended orgasm doesn't require much from you or your partner beyond understanding your body's sexual pleasure points a little better. To get the full scope of how to access this whole-body sensation, we tapped a few sexual wellness experts on everything there is to know about extended orgasms — you're welcome.
Lee Phillips: A New York-based psychotherapist and American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists-certified sex and couples therapist.
Casey Tanner: A Chicago-based, AASECT-certified sex therapist, founder of The Expansive Group, and sexual wellness expert for Lelo.
Monica Grover, MD: A New York City-based, double board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist and chief medical officer at VSPOT.
Simply put, extended orgasms have a slow build that leads to passionate, head-to-toe sensations and a climactic "peak" that lasts longer than the typical orgasm. For reference, the typical female orgasm lasts anywhere from 20 seconds to two minutes, according to research published in Ceskoslovenska Psychiatrie, a Czech Republic-based academic journal. "Extended orgasms do not peak and release quickly," says New York-based psychotherapist and American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists-certified sex and couples therapist Lee Phillips. "The person holds off reaching orgasm for an extended amount of time by being creative and building up to climax."
According to Chicago-based, AASECT-certified sex therapist Casey Tanner, extended orgasms have longer-lasting physiological and psychological effects. "[One] goal of extended orgasms is to elongate the climax so as not to experience an energy crash as you might after a typical orgasm," she says.
Tanner adds that this idea is often practiced in more spiritual sexual communities and contexts, like tantra. That being said, extended orgasms don't have to be tied to your spirituality, and you don't have to be a professional at tantric sex or other spirituality-focused orgasm techniques in order to achieve one. A longer, stronger climax can easily be incorporated into your sex life just by experimenting (within your boundaries) with foreplay, solo play, sexual intercourse, or all of the above.
New York City-based, double board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist Monica Grover, MD says there isn't an exact answer to this question. "There is not enough research to know if everyone and anyone can have an extended orgasm but it seems as though people of all genders and sexualities can have extended orgasms," she says.
We do have some good news: regardless of whether you have a penis or a vulva, all of our experts agree that most people can achieve an extended orgasm with a bit of practice (which we'll get to in a second). However, Tanner does note that, overall, your body does come into play. "Some people may find it easier or more attainable to achieve extended orgasms than others," she says. Additionally, Tanner notes that some people may not find extended orgasms as pleasurable or exciting as the "instant gratification" from a typical orgasm. "In fact, the energy crash (and subsequent rest or sleep) might actually be someone's motivation to orgasm," she says.
Lee also points out that those with disabilities may not be able to achieve orgasm. "Age, lack of sexual desire, and mental health may also play a significant factor in not being able to have an extended orgasm," he adds.
Here's the thing: orgasms don't confine to a "one size fits all" mentality, so there isn't a singular maneuver that'll always lead to an extended orgasm. There are, though, a few expert-approved sex tips you can implement into your next rendezvous for a pleasure-enhanced experience that could lead to one.
Before you hit the bedroom, Phillips notes that an overall healthy lifestyle can also impact your sexual well-being, including the intensity of your climax. Research from the University of Texas proves that 20 minutes of walking or running on a treadmill increases heart rate and blood flow in all organs, including the genitals. Many of us may associate increased blood flow as beneficial for those with penises in order to have an erection, but in case you didn't know, the clitoris works in a similar way. "The clitoris swells up with blood, which helps stimulate the nerve endings," says Dr. Grover.
On top of regular exercise, Phillips suggests incorporating stress management in order to boost your libido, as chronic stress can lead to a lowered sex drive and negative effects on sexual function, according to research published by the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. He also recommends avoiding tobacco and lowering your consumption of alcohol, both of which can lower blood flow and, therefore, sex drive.
When it comes to actually having an extended orgasm during sex, both Phillips and Dr. Grover are fans of practicing edging to build sexual tension. "Let your partner touch and tantalize you until you're at the brink of climax without letting you tip over the edge," says Dr. Grover. "Work on building your arousal slowly and delivering the pressure and sensation you need to expand pleasure exponentially."
Phillips adds that those with a penis can practice edging while masturbating by stroking until they get to the point of orgasm and then backing off before ejaculating. "Do this for however long you like," he says. "This builds the anticipation for a stronger orgasm." Folks with a vulva can also practice edging while masturbating — just stimulate your clitoral area, G-spot, or both until you're about to orgasm, and then stop before you get there.
Phillips also suggests incorporating pelvic floor muscle exercises, also known as kegel exercises, into your routine. The University of Chicago reports that these exercises can improve blood circulation to the pelvic floor and vagina, which is helpful for increasing arousal for both penises and vulvas as well as lubrication for vulva owners. "The pelvic floor muscles, notably the pubococcygeus in the pelvis are the muscles responsible for contractions during orgasm," says Phillips. "As these muscles become stronger, and when you clench and relax, you may have the ability to elongate the sensation in orgasms, and this is with all genders."
Whether this is your first time trying to have an extended orgasm or you've been down this road before, Tanner says the best way to have mind-blowing sex is to relax and stay present at the moment." The typical orgasm is characterized by a physical tension build-up and release, but an extended orgasm is characterized by intense sensations, involuntary muscle contractions, and a relaxed mind and body," she says. As you feel like you're approaching orgasm, Tanner suggests practicing a controlled, slower breathing pattern and "focusing your energy inwards" by tuning into bodily sensations.
No matter what your sexual scenarios look like, the best way to have a great time is to simply have consensual fun with your partner(s). Don't beat yourself up if you don't have the most intense orgasm of your life after trying these tips, because everybody is different and we all cum at our own paces. Plus, you'll get to practice again until you get it right — that's a pretty sweet deal if you ask us.
The original article can be found on ALLURE US.
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